Chapter 4 - The Proposals

I waited and waited. Anxiety, fear, the thrill, it’s all just so unbearable. I can’t get my mind off what she would say. Will she accept, or will she reject? These questions keep popping up like bubbles in a rootbeer. In the end, my questions got an answer. A reply to those unanswered questions.

As it would have seem, like every other year, a negativity is always occurring on the particular date. She rejected. All those hopes I’ve been keeping up all these while went down the cliff. Hitting bottomless pits. I was devastated due to the response. One girl. I had my hopes that high for one girl. I just couldn’t believe that I got rejected. It all ended with an okay and an awkward moment of silence for a few weeks.

We tried start up a conversation after a few while, chatting through up the messenger, catching up with each other’s life. We got along again or atleast I assumed we did. Between those moments we were chatting my whole mind starts to think of something stupid again. Yeah, you guessed it, I wanted to try again for the second time. I haven’t gave up, just devastated, but I didn’t gave up. The hopes I’ve gathered hasn’t hit the end of the bottomless pit which didn’t stop me to keep thinking there’s chance or a loophole somewhere in the future. This was it.

It was 23^rd of March if I wasn’t mistaken when I decided to do a second proposal. That night on a Friday evening, we chatted like usual, just that my mind hasn’t been focused on what that has been said. All its thinking is just what will the response would be if I did confess for a second time. Will she be touched or will she despise me. Probably touched as my mind thinks it more and more. I guess I watched too much drama.

Around 8 or 9 that evening I confessed out of the blue. It was a futile attempt but I decided to do it anyway. Like I’ve said, “go get her before someone else does”. And for that quote, I once again gathered my courage. Precisely after that, I really hated what head is thinking. I was dejected. Because of my stupid brain, I got blocked by her on messenger.

Pathetic. Just pathetic. I couldn’t describe anything else about myself then. That was an event that I regretted so much.

Chapter 3 - The One

     Weeks pass by, I start to feel grow of feelings for her. One day, she uploaded a picture of herself and three of her friends. At first I didn’t know which one was her in the picture since it was the first time I see a picture posted up there. In the end, I found out which one was her – she had a beautiful smile, cute hair tied up in a ponytail and she was very beautiful. People called her black cause she was literally sunburned due to marching band activities. However, I found that she’s just beautiful with her skin tone. Since that day, I didn’t stop going to her profile. I was a stalker before I knew it. But I was too mad with love-goggles till I didn’t realize it myself. Her beauty just amazes me.

     About a month later, I start to think of confessing to her. All in my mind was “go get her before someone else does” over and over again. Me, a guy who didn’t believe that I would fall in love till I finish my studies thought of that. I was too madly in love with a girl I just met a month ago. Wondering by myself – is it love in first sight? Or just blind love? I decided to ask her about her personal stuff later that evening after school. Several days later I summed up that she was single, and never had any relationships in the past. My mind starts to force me to give it a shot. I’ve broken my principle.

     I waited on the 26^th of February of that year. Hoping for luck on after years of unluckiness on that particular day. That day, I composed a simple message to her in Friendster.

     “Hi..

          You are very pretty. I actually really like you.”

     Two sentences. All I can think of was only two sentences. I lost all my long speech that I have thought of when I was in class. All gone. Left with these 2 sentences. Eventhough it was a pathetic message, I clicked send anyway. I thought I have to get this girl no matter what. I really like her. I must gather my courage and tell her my feelings. Or so I thought...

Chapter 2 - The First

     Newly after the mid of January, all that came to a stop. Well, not completely. But something was changing alright. I met her. It was nothing fancy, just through Friendster. It was early in the morning, about dawn – well, my dawn atleast. Around 10 in the morning. I was having my daily Friendster updates and brunch in the middle of it. I saw a friend request from a friend of a friend. Happens to be a student at my mother’s school where she was teaching. I didn’t know much about her ‘cause she didn’t upload any of her pictures nor use her real name on it. All I knew was she was ChoCoLaTeZ. I started a conversation with her – simple, corny, and mostly awkward. I bet it was. Further into details, I started with, “Oh wow, you’re learning at my mother’s school. Do you know her?” Gosh, how lame was that. But I did it anyways. There was no response from her till the night of that day. I was so excited and I don’t even know why. Probably because the first girl I would talk to besides my mom and my sister.

     I went online and checked for response, and there, one new notification. I clicked on it, “Yeah, I knew her. How did you found me?” she wrote. It did make me think – how did I found her at first. I just told her that I was randomly adding people and found out that she was one of my mom’s students when I was doing my daily Friendster updates. It was a surprise for me that I randomly added her. We went chatting all night in there. We did enjoyed having the conversation eventhough it was only the first time we have ever talked – atleast I did. It all went normally the next day. We did posts on each other’s testimonials daily – what Facebook call it as ‘walls’. It went few days later after the 21^st of January that year -  when we first chatted, I started to feel something of which I didn’t know what it was. I realized that I’m falling in love with this ChoCoLaTeZ girl whom I’ve never met in person nor have I seen her pictures.

Chapter 1 - Starters

     It has been quite some time after getting through the exams. My life as a 14-year-old isn’t over yet. I’ve seen enough of couples everywhere. Teenagers, always falls for blind love. Or in other words, monkey love. I’ve never been in love before. Even though I haven’t been in love before, I have given quite some tips in romance for a couple of friends. To a surprise, all of those advices were really good and they thanked me for them. I didn’t believe it was just a random advice that I told them. So, I went to do some research on relationships and started to become a love counsellor myself. A year after that, here I am now. I guess it wasn’t a bad job – to be a counsellor. I have this ability that helps me to read one’s thought just by watching their expression or their gestures. From chatting online or talking to them in live person, even if they lied, I can sense their emotion deep down and I can tell whether they’re lying or not, most of the time at least. 

     Friendster was the only thing I have during my free hours. Empty, lonely hours. Well, before it was sold to MOL, it was one of the famous social networks before Facebook came. It was a dull morning, waiting for time to go to school. Afternoon classes are very dull and boring. I just can’t stand much being in the class. Surrounded by smart, rich kids. The feeling of being inferior to your classmates certainly isn’t the best feeling in the world. I was just dying to get out of school so badly. Then, I found an interest that kept me going to go to class. Emotions. Not mine, but the ones’ around me. They are always moody even though they have almost everything they wanted. So, I went to do some study on this. Maybe something good will comeback. I ended up becoming their love counsellors.