I waited and
waited. Anxiety, fear, the thrill, it’s all just so unbearable. I can’t get my
mind off what she would say. Will she accept, or will she reject? These
questions keep popping up like bubbles in a rootbeer. In the end, my questions
got an answer. A reply to those unanswered questions.
As it would
have seem, like every other year, a negativity is always occurring on the
particular date. She rejected. All those hopes I’ve been keeping up all these
while went down the cliff. Hitting bottomless pits. I was devastated due to the
response. One girl. I had my hopes that high for one girl. I just couldn’t
believe that I got rejected. It all ended with an okay and an awkward moment of
silence for a few weeks.
We tried
start up a conversation after a few while, chatting through up the messenger,
catching up with each other’s life. We got along again or atleast I assumed we
did. Between those moments we were chatting my whole mind starts to think of
something stupid again. Yeah, you guessed it, I wanted to try again for the
second time. I haven’t gave up, just devastated, but I didn’t gave up. The
hopes I’ve gathered hasn’t hit the end of the bottomless pit which didn’t stop
me to keep thinking there’s chance or a loophole somewhere in the future. This
was it.
It was 23rd
of March if I wasn’t mistaken when I decided to do a second proposal. That
night on a Friday evening, we chatted like usual, just that my mind hasn’t been
focused on what that has been said. All its thinking is just what will the
response would be if I did confess for a second time. Will she be touched or
will she despise me. Probably touched as my mind thinks it more and more. I
guess I watched too much drama.
Around 8 or
9 that evening I confessed out of the blue. It was a futile attempt but I
decided to do it anyway. Like I’ve said, “go get her before someone else does”.
And for that quote, I once again gathered my courage. Precisely after that, I
really hated what head is thinking. I was dejected. Because of my stupid brain,
I got blocked by her on messenger.
Pathetic.
Just pathetic. I couldn’t describe anything else about myself then. That was an
event that I regretted so much.
